Going back to school in September

jayma-jones:

Teacher - did you do anything nice during Summer?

Me - oh yeah, I went to L.A, New York, Miami and did a bunch of photoshootsimage

kostyantyn:

why would you bake a guinea pig into a muffin you monster?!?

kostyantyn:

why would you bake a guinea pig into a muffin you monster?!?

lactoria:

hey you

*pokes ur cheek*

you sure are cute

"you should act more your age"

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versaceslut:

when ur hunty starts spilling that tea and you just sit back and

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samioli:

hanna619:

Omg best thing Iโ€™ve ever seen

I love how everything is hinted subtlety and then the last one is just

iguanamouth:

remember to ask your parents permission before procuring dead bodies

saddestblogger:

"hey iโ€™m really full do you want the rest of my-"

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hoganddice:

takethethirdoption:

I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football.

"I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody elseโ€™s god?"

This is what jokes about religion are supposed to look like.